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Fic: Four First Kisses (WFA entry)

Title: Four First Kisses
Pairing: Superman/Batman
Rated: R
Warnings: Sexual situations, violence, character death
Summary: After a murder Bruce Wayne cannot accept, how far will he go to set things right again?

Rambly Pointless Author's Note:  I finished this story November 2 in a sort of rush of random creative energy and then had to mope about for over a month with no feedback on it besides my long-suffering beta telling me, "It's okay.  What?  Why are you glaring at me?  I said it's okay!"  Lots of thanks to paxwolf and arch_schatten for putting up with me whining about how I liked it but couldn't tell if it was any good and then refusing to give them any details.  :)  It was a very long November for them, I'm sure.  And so many thanks to all of you, you fabulous S/B people.  With people like you who give such awesome feedback, all I ever want is to write a story that you enjoy reading.  I hope I've done so.  I always hope I've done so.

I liked the artificial device of breaking the story up by kiss, so I've kept it here, but it's all one story, so there's no need to comment on each part.

The First One
The Second One
The Third One
The Fourth One

Oh, and again I point you to artwork much finer than the story deserves:  a scene from "The Fourth One" by rai_daydreamer.



( 19 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 24th, 2006 04:31 pm (UTC)
I want to give a more detailed feedback, and I will, but the kids are screaming in the background. I didn't want to wait, however, to let you know how thoroughly I enjoyed "Four First Kisses".
Dec. 25th, 2006 02:05 am (UTC)
Thank you! That you could give any feedback at all with such compelling distractions is a compliment. :) I'm thrilled you liked it.
Dec. 24th, 2006 08:40 pm (UTC)
Omg this story had me in tears it was so sad, and yet it had such a great happy ending.

fantastic baby....
Dec. 25th, 2006 02:31 am (UTC)
Aw, thank you! I spent a long time contemplating ending it sadly--poor Clark flying away with just the hope that maybe someday...but Bruce was having none of it. "I didn't go through all that to not have a happy ending," he announced. I'm glad you liked it and the happy end!
Dec. 25th, 2006 12:09 am (UTC)
Oh, I knew this was you!! No one in this fandom uses the word "eldritch" with such consistency ... actually, I don't think anyone else uses it, lol. It's a fantastic word, though! ^___^

Aside from that ...

Congratulations on winning!! I gave Mina confetti so I think I'll give you balloons *showers Jen with balloons*

This was such an amazing story! I can't believe you were able to pack so much emotion in to four sections. And this had everything a reader could ask for ... angst, joy, humor, crazy UST (Clark waited seventeen years??? My god ...), and a happy ending!!!!

There are so many things I love about this. First off, I like how you used the new line up for the JLA. That was just ... cool to see that in a fic. And then the idea of the time-traveling loop was sheer brilliance. I loved the "Moebius strip" that you had going on ... the fact that Clark inspired Bruce in the future and in turn Bruce inspired Clark in the past, etc. etc. And the way you structured the story was amazing ... going from the future from Bruce's POV, and then to the past still in his POV, and then switching to Clark and leading back up to the future. It just ... worked really well, lol.

And I loved Bruce's interaction with young Clark, how he still loved him and thought he was beautiful and everything, but refused to take advantage of him, and how in his head he had this distinction between Clark as a teenager and Clark as the man he loved. I thought that was very appropriate, and it felt very ... noble.

And Clark hero-worshipping Bruce as an FBI agent was just ... so made of awesome. I'm so used to thinking of it as the other way around--that Bruce would have some kind of hero worship for Superman. It was interesting to see the tables flipped.

And the whole thing with young Clark not knowing at first that he was the person whom Bruce eventually wanted to save--that's some of the best identity porn I've ever seen! And then I loved the touch where right before Bruce left, Clark saw himself through the time travelling window. That was an absolutely gorgeous moment, when he realized all along that he was this "Galahad" and that he eventually did find the purpose and clarity that he longed for. Plus, referring to Clark as Galahad was so inspired.

And then the section with the cruise!!! Way to work yet another canon cruise into a story! That was hilarious and sweet all at the same time and I will never look at the S/B Annual in the same way ever again. I loved how Clark actually got excited that Bruce was finally willing to insult him, and the kiss in bed and Bruce freaking out ... LMAO.

And the ending was absolutely perfect. I was fairly sure you were going to us a happy ending, but not quite. You really know how to build suspense! Your stories always make me worry for the characters, lol, just because I get so roped in and you build up so much yummy tension ... ee! So yeah, I was a little nervous that Bruce wouldn't remember, but ... thank god that he did!

Oh, and now I have to go eat dinner and this was really rambly and ... oh, I have so much love for this story though. It's haunting me (in a good way!). I'm only sad that there's not more. :(

Bravo, Jen, bravo!! Thank you for writing this!!!! Great great stuff. :D
Dec. 25th, 2006 02:47 am (UTC)
Oh, I knew this was you!! No one in this fandom uses the word "eldritch" with such consistency ... actually, I don't think anyone else uses it, lol. It's a fantastic word, though!

Eldritch! *strikes table with her fist* Curse you, eldritch, why must I love you so? Oh, I wish I knew how to quit you...

(Clark waited seventeen years??? My god ...),

There's a canon story out there--I can't remember which one--where Clark and Diana are trapped in the future and live there for a thousand years together, the only two living being, and Clark never touches Diana because he's faithful to the memory of Lois. Good grief! If that's canon, I figured he could make it seventeen. :)

how in his head he had this distinction between Clark as a teenager and Clark as the man he loved. I thought that was very appropriate, and it felt very ... noble.

I must confess that I originally imagined Bruce would sleep with Clark before going back, but DaMo totally refused to countenance it. "He's going to die!" I wailed at him, "It's his only chance!" "I don't care, he wouldn't even initiate a kiss," DaMo insisted. And eventually I realized he was right. Now I'm horrified that I even contemplated it!

when he realized all along that he was this "Galahad" and that he eventually did find the purpose and clarity that he longed for.

I have to admit that really got me, the idea that they both inspire each other in this endless loop, and Bruce helps Clark to become Superman by telling him about this wonderful person that Clark later realizes is him. Galahad--I couldn't come up with a better almost-silly but very serious nickname that would work! :)

I wonder how many ways I'll end up re-writing that silly cruise? LOL. Now when I go back and look at it again, the look on Clark's face when the dart bounces off his neck cracks me up in the extreme, because it fits the story perfectly. And the relish with which he throws himself into the insulting game makes a lot more sense. :)

I was fairly sure you were going to us a happy ending, but not quite.

I wasn't absolutely certain myself until I got to the end, so that probably helped add an uncertain tone. I kept meaning to make it sad and wistful (mostly because I was forced to admit that the hypnotic trigger idea didn't, um, actually seem like it should work)...but it didn't feel right to me until I made the ending happy. At which point I decided to change the title of my journal, LOL.

Thanks for the wonderful, wonderful feedback! I'm purring like a kitten.

Dec. 25th, 2006 01:58 am (UTC)
This fic is great, excellent use of time travel. I'm so glad for the happy ending.
Dec. 25th, 2006 03:21 am (UTC)
I'm glad you liked it and that you liked the happy ending! I was relieved I could work it as well, to be honest. :)
Dec. 27th, 2006 01:58 am (UTC)
Oh, man! This story was exceptional in so many ways! I love time loops/traveling/dilemma stories. Of course there are always these fascinating paradoxes and mind-blowing scenarios and I love how Clark waits 17 years for Bruce. And Clark knows what's going to happen to him on that fateful night, over and over again, and yet he's faithful that Bruce will save him. Sigh. Such a wonderful, wonderful story.
Dec. 27th, 2006 04:00 pm (UTC)
I love time loops/traveling/dilemma stories.

I loved them until I tried to write one! :) They are really tough to write...oh, the paradoxes!

I'm glad you liked it! It was a lot of fun, once I ironed out the plot, LOL.
Dec. 27th, 2006 10:51 pm (UTC)
Wow, I bet it *was* difficult to write! Still, a bonus for your readers!
May. 16th, 2007 04:54 pm (UTC)
You are one of my favourite Clark/Bruce writers; I love all your work, especially this story. The format works so well, with the gradual revelations, and I really like the way Clark waits for years for Bruce, and when it looks like Bruce's memory won't return, Clark is willing to wait for however much longer it takes.
May. 17th, 2007 03:56 am (UTC)
*hugs* Thanks for the compliment! There are so many incredibly talented writers in this pairing...I feel very lucky to be a happy, happy reader. :)

This is one of my favorite stories ever, so it always means a great deal to me when people enjoy it. Thank you so much!
Dec. 9th, 2009 02:39 am (UTC)
Kal-El is kissing him, dying. The image repeats, faster and faster, looping about into a Moebius strip of love and death, spiraling into infinity, over and over.
God, you had me shivering at this. The Moebius strip almost practically means 'endless loop'. Paired with other scientific paradoxes about time travels & it's complications, this is the best fan-based time-travel sci-fi story I've ever read. And the angst, it nearly killed me. At the final chapter, when Clark swore at his Glenn, not once but twice, it really shook me to the core.
And only you, Mitchen-san, can end a dark, angst-y story with a sweet kiss.

Thank you for sharing! =D

*goes off to cry at a corner*
Dec. 10th, 2009 02:54 pm (UTC)
Oh, thank you so much! I'll confess to having a special place in my heart for this story, and I do love Moebius strips. :) Thank you so much for the kind comment, I'm beaming. :D
Feb. 16th, 2010 11:19 pm (UTC)
I just finished reading your Kisses and was flabbergasted. i almost made myself late for a doctor's appointment so caught up in your time traveling loops and convolutions. I laughed, I cried, I cheered, I sighed. Yep this was a E-ticket ride of emotions that landed in Happly-Ever-Afterland. I am so glad limit the sky was looking for this gem as I benefited from her request. I am forever in awe of your writing and love every minute reading it and this was no exception.
Thank you for sharing this wonderful time-traveling romp. I may have virtual vertigo but WWWeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee what a ride.
Feb. 22nd, 2010 02:12 am (UTC)
Aw, thank you so much! You know, this is still one of my absolute favorite stories I've written, somehow, so it always makes me extra-happy when someone likes it. *beams*
Sep. 26th, 2012 08:24 pm (UTC)
first off, i love this series (you wrote it so duh). but time traveling is a passion of mine-i love all the disputes on what could/would/might/should/will/did etc. happen. on that note, if bruce managed to save clark by dying, since clark never died bruce would never go back in time and he'd never remember bruce. but if bruce never went back in time then clark was never saved...so your loop theory/deja vu is probably the smartest way to go.

another thing i loved about this series is young clark. the way he almost stalks bruce is adorable (and creepy, in a good way! the kind that makes me think "poor bruce, you don't stand a chance when clark's fixated on you"). some examples:

Clark Kent caught the other man as he fell, lifted him effortlessly. The stranger's face was pale and drawn with exhaustion and something else that Clark couldn't name. He studied it for a while, cautiously. It seemed like a good face. He began the long walk home with the stranger in his arms.

clark to martha kent-can i keep him ma?

The boy cupped Bruce's chin, his hand unsteady, and captured his mouth.

anytime clark takes the initiative is wonderful, it makes me think all over again-bruce, you have a barely-out-of-his-teen-years, super powered, indestructible, invincible alien that wants you desperately...*flails arms about for a bit*

Clark put the medallion around Bruce's neck. His hands moved up into Bruce's hair, caressing.

clark is so forward, i love it! and whenever i read this part i get delightful goosebumps and it feels wonderful.

other random parts that i loved:

But Clark, you have to believe me when I say it will all be okay." It wasn't even a lie, he told himself. Clark did have to believe him.

does that mean the first part is a lie? bruce, you beautiful, sad, lonely man, so many people just want to hug you and never let go.

"Bruce, you have no idea just how patient I can be."

devious clark is always fun to read about. it's nice to know that he can pull one over on bruce sometimes.

all in all it was awesome. maybe we can see you write more interactions between them and one of their younger versions? O_o
Oct. 4th, 2012 11:19 am (UTC)
Time travel is so fun and so hard to write! I squabbled endless with my beta about how this was going to work (he insisted--correctly--that Bruce couldn't remember what happened; I insisted that would be too much of a bummer ending, lol).

Young stalkery Clark was so much fun to write! Usually it's Bruce who gets all intense and hard to say no to, so I really enjoyed it when Clark had his turn.

does that mean the first part is a lie? bruce, you beautiful, sad, lonely man, so many people just want to hug you and never let go.

He's pretty sure it's not going to work out well, I think. Poor Bruce... *ruffles his hair*

Mmmm, I haven't written that kind of time travel for a long time! I'll have to put it on my list of plot ideas to ponder about... :) Thanks so much for the encouraging feedback!
( 19 comments — Leave a comment )


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